Chapter 9: Frenemies With France

Season Covered: Spring 1903

Winter 1902

Italy immediately reaches out to me:

I still can’t figure out the board after the builds. No one’s making inconsistent statements. I post an apt clip from The Princess Bride that sums up my strategic options.

It looks like France and I are becoming real friends.  I met one of my Five Goals:  Make a friend.  I don’t trust him, but hell, close enough. I’ve got friends I don’t trust in real life, so hopefully, this is good enough for government work (or Diplomacy work).

He writes:

So, I take this to mean we split Holland and Belgium.  I thought he had agreed to the previous season, so I was agreeable.Germany is AWOL.  I already wanted to stab; now, I have an excuse, since he does not respond to me, even when I support him.

I reach out to Turkey to inquire about that Army build that confusing army build:

Russia and I try to negotiate the north.  I kind of want to move against Germany, and I need him.

Italy reaches out and wants to press in real-time.  Crap, I work for a living, but okay, for $50 in prize money, I won’t charge a client many times per hour.  As you can see, I’m good at math.

He wants to work with me. I don’t trust him, but I need his help with Russia. Italy says, let’s form EFIR, which will become EFI. I’m for that. If I can get Italy and France battling later in the game, that would be good. The problem is I’m not smarter than either, but I’ll figure that out later. By the way, that’s precisely why I’m not smart. Here’s how it went down:

France and I think the same thing. It’s better to work with @Conq from the inside than be an out and out enemy.

Germany still AWOL.  Finally, we talk, but nothing specific.  He’s either working with France or too confident (possibly the latter because he tells me he is entering a bogus support order for Denmark).

EFIR then plot.

So, even though I was intending to stab Germany, I did not feel so bad about. Anyway, I patiently wait for adjudication.  Here’s what happened.

Spring 1903

Boom, I stab Germany for only one center.  Tellingly, however, DanceScholar on YouTube (a/k/a former World Champion Chris Martin advises to seldom stab for one center.

Well, what does Mr. World Champion smarty-pants know? How can I not stab an ally who does not timely respond to press and never reveals any useful information to me?

Alas, France’s attempt for Belgium fails, which means I can’t get to Holland.  It also means another season of France in the Channel.  Great.  Turkey goes after Russia. Austria takes 2 Italian centers (wha???).

Italy tells me Austria lied.

Russia’s quiet, but I’ve learned he studies at night.  France seems okay with what happened in my region but tells me Italy lied about the fleet move to the Ionian. That’s good for me.

All in all, I had a good season.  Yes, I’ve lost Germany, but France and Russia are now my friends.  I have to figure out how to get Russia to gift me a center.  I write to Germany as follows:

No response. Let’s see what happens with the retreats.  I suspect Denmark retreats to Heligoland Bight.  Not the best, but expected.

Before I go to bed, @MilkMan, now known as @AudaciousHand on Discord posts:

If only he knew that Germany was AWOL, but truthfully, even if he wasn’t, that’s just a little lie I told myself because I wanted to stab him anyway.

I go to bed heartbroken because Milk/Hand is an excellent player.  He played Germany against me in the first tournament game I played, and his game was masterful.  He schooled me pretty badly in the past, but I try to tell myself I’m a different player now.  I feel like curling into a ball now.  Good night. 

I send out Texas country music clips for everyone.

No likes. Oh well, it can’t all go swimmingly.