“Hope Is The Most Dangerous Drug In Diplomacy”
Dixiecon 2021 is over. Sigh. I placed second. Diplomacy Briefing asked me to write a “Second Fiddle” article for its June 4, 2021 issue. I’m getting pretty good at these.
“Hope Is The Most Dangerous Drug In Diplomacy”
— Ed Sullivan
I like quoting myself. I feel like I’m Cicero or something. It gives an air of both authority and historical perspective. The quote above is one I invented about a year ago after I got stabbed by Hunter Katcher. I use it as a mantra to keep me grounded when things look too good to be true. If I had not hoped, I would not have felt so bad.
While I may not have won Dixiecon, I am happy to report that you are reading the words of the first person ever to write a second Second Fiddle article. So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.
Actually, it’s not so nice. No one likes being second. But, as I near my fiftieth journey round the sun on this planet, I have come to accept that I’m a perennial bridesmaid. The first time I remember finishing second was at a swim meet in Doha in 1981. I don’t recall my dad’s encouraging words, but I will never forget how forlorn he looked saying them. There are many other examples. I was the Salutatorian of my high school class. Many ladies told me I would be their number one in my younger years if they weren’t in love with someone else with a tad more charm. I have a near-perfect record of placing second in chess games. To be fair, however, sometimes being second works out: After all, my first choice for college was Rice University. Goowlsgo does not have the same ring to it.
In Diplomacy, I have quite a few second-place finishes: Season 2 Nexus Finals, Carnage 2020, eCarnage 2021, and now Dixiecon. I can accept eliminations and brutal stabs. I understand that, no matter how hard I try, a few players have unionized against me. I find it charming now when I continually mis-order convoys.
Here’s what I have trouble handling: The Hope. John Cleese summed it up well in Clockwise.
What makes finishing second unique compared to all the other places one could finish is that someone who places second had, at some point, the hope of finishing first. Winners, however, eschew hope. They don’t hope to make the final shot—they know they will make the shot. They are the ones who say, “I’ll make it.”
Hope is no substitute for confidence.Unlike my second place at eCarnage 2021, I thought I had this tournament sewed up after my final game concluded in a two-way draw.I knew that absent something extraordinary happening, David Hood would declare me as the tournament’s champion.I pictured the award ceremony like this:
Sadly, within thirty minutes of my Diplomacy dreams coming true at Dixiecon, something extraordinary happened, and I finished second. Karthik Konath convinced Tommy Anderson to vote himself out of a three-way draw, causing Karthik to achieve a higher point total than me. I can’t bring myself to complain. Thirty minutes earlier, I convinced JJ Raymond to do the same thing. Karthik topped my diplomatic coup and took the title.
Oh well. Too bad, so sad. I finished second again. I finished second for the second time in a month after ending my final game as tournament leader.
I have perspective and enough second places in life not to be too down on myself. You see, in the days before Dixiecon, I experienced both significant personal failing and a tremendous professional success. I won’t get into the failing part, but it’s much worse than losing in Diplomacy. As for the professional success part, I got to argue in front of 18 of the most thoughtful judges in the federal judiciary two days before Dixiecon began.
After my highs and lows, I went into Dixiecon to distract myself from the real world. David Hood’s magnificent event provided me with me plenty of hours of needed distraction. I did not expect to do well, nor did I care if I did well when the first game started. I’m not just saying that. All I needed was for the games to go long. I just needed to get my brain working on something other than my life.
Once I started playing and doing well, the dangerous drug of hope took over—what a great first round. Andrew Goff complimented me. Look at me go in that second round! How did I pull that one off? Am I really the tournament leader? Can I win this? Yes, I think I’m going to win this! Hell yeah, I’ve won this. And then, tragically, Oh wow. I lost this. How is this going to be handled on DBN?
Despite the immense disappointment, the Ed of a year ago would be over the moon at the results (and yes, I realize I just transitioned effortlessly from the first person into the third person). “Happy Go Lucky Ed” is now “Introspective Ed.” Well, I’ve analyzed my Dixiecon games, and I don’t believe I could have achieved a higher score in any of my three games.
My failing, you see, was hope. When it comes to Diplomacy, never hope for anything. In Diplomacy, like war (it’s not, but you know what I mean), the other player gets a vote. And I got out-voted fair and square.
Hope leads to stabs, emotional frailty, and heartbreak. Hope leads one to think Tommy Anderson will play rationally. Never give in to hope. Fixate on reality. And the reality of Dixiecon is this: I did my dead-level best, and Karthik Konath, a fellow Longhorn, mensch, and superior Diplomacy player, outplayed me under the rules of the game. He is the worthy champion of Dixiecon 2021. All hail to the player who did not hope to win. He willed himself to make that final shot and earned himself the victory.